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टुकड़ों मैं बटा-सा यह देश तो देखो, जिसे कोई न बदल पाया वास्तविकता में |

चाहता न था कोई इसे एक बनाना, 
डर गये थे वे इसके प्रभुत्व से,
बन जाता अगर यह देश, कहलाता महाशक्ति इस विशव में |

मज़हब ने तोडा, अंग्रेजों ने बांटा,
समझ न पाया कोई गैरों की चाल | 
गिर गया हिंदुस्तां का ध्वज, बन गया श्वेतों का दास,
चाहते थे वे हमें सभ्य बनाना, जाना न था हमारा इतिहास |
गैर चले गए, फिर अपनों ने लुटा, छोड़ा न जिसे अपनों ने, उसे कैसे छोड़ते वे गैर | 
सोने की मुर्गी थी जो लगी हाथ, यह अपने आज भी लुट रहे, पर न कभी डाले इस देश ने हथियार |
चलती रही समझकर इनको अपना,
पर सब्र का बांध एक दिन तो टूटेगा, माँ लगाएगी अपनों को फटकार, 
मत लो इसका इम्तेहान, यह प्रेम करने वाली माँ है देखो, समर्पित होकर करो इसे नमन, इस माँ ने हैं सहे कई जुर्म |
अगर होते न इसके भाग , न होता मज़हब, धर्म, जात |
टुकड़ों मैं बटा-सा यह देश तो देखो, जिसे कोई न बदल पाया वास्तविकता में |

A Journey to South: Part 4

Part 4: 'THE DILEMMA'

Read : Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

It appeared as if the soil, the air, the sun, the heat, everything was different. Wherever you saw, nothing but paddy fields stretched across the lands. No wonder it is called 'Rice Bowl' of Tamil Nadu. It was route no. '767' , beautiful small temples graced our way to 'IICPT'. At the entry, guard knew 'Hindi', I can not tell you how happy I was. The first word I uttered in front of him was "Hindi!!!!!" :D , more out of relief than surprise. He was from Uttar Pradesh. He knew I came for counselling, he guided us to the reception. We relaxed there for a while, and then took a stroll around the campus. It was not a big campus, only a few acres, a small playground on which it looked nobody had ever set his foot. I knew where I had come, a 'premier institute' where you do nothing but 'study'. Campus was beautiful and had all the hi-tech labs. They both looked quite convinced and happy, I was still anxious and unsure.

We met few students, most of them were local or from south, Kerela or Tamil Nadu. They looked quite happy, or maybe they had accepted their fate. Northerns were still no where to be found. Soon the counselling started. They took us to a room where queries and doubts were cleared. This is where I felt uneasy and vexed. My feet and hands felt cold and sweaty, I was panicking, I knew it was going to be tough but the thought of staying so far south was frightful and intimidating.
The next thing I know was sitting in the conference hall waiting for my turn. 6 faculty members sat in front, checking all the documents and verifying every detail. Some problem had to upheaval, I didn't have copies of all the certificates, this is so me. But, this time mom and dad were at fault, as they had all the documents. The apprehension of staying in south plus this problem added to my fury and it all came out on parents. My name was called out, I went up to the faculty team wished them with a fake broad smile. Mom and dad knew I was pissed as they sat along with me. "How do you feel here, Deepansh?" Kavitha Mam asked. When I am pissed, I reply promptly and bluntly. "Good" I said to which one of the faculty member laughed, this 'Good' was real quick and so fake that even child could tell I was pissed. Kavitha mam is an Associate Professor at the institute, She looked quite dominating and authoritative. She introduced me to all the faculty members. On her left was Nandini Mam an Assistant Professor, the most beautiful lady I had seen in past few days, beautiful and serene face which showed not much emotions. Her face made me forget my worries for a moment. Sometimes pretty faces can help. On her right was Indira mam, senior most in the clerical staff, a north Indian and expressive. So, this was a female dominated staff.

Before this, they were very serious and strict with every student they came across. But, they knew I was different, a bubble of energy waiting to burst out.  I told them about my situation, about JUIT. I never spoke better in my life. Sometimes, worst situations can bring out the best in you. Mom and dad waited me to shut up, till they spoke of their doubts and apprehensions. I was enjoying this conversation. It was difficult to stop me. Professors kept smiling and laughing, parents too had given up. :P Before me, there was no hint of smile on their face. One achievement for sure, I made south Indians laugh and smile a lot more than they usually do.
"Deepansh, You have got the admission. Forget about your private college, those things don't work here". I was handed over the admission letter by Kavitha Mam. We had to submit fees in the branch 3-4 KM from college." As we and faculty talked about how was I going to adjust in the new surroundings, mom broke down. I was expecting this. For her, it was more harder than it was for me. She quickly recovered, and smiled to show me a brave face. "Boy, you have got a lot of energy. You need to channelize it" Nandini mam told me. I still could not get over how beautiful she was. I asked them about minimum attendence. I thought it was quite a valid question. But, they all looked at each other as if I had said something which seemed abnormal. "What attendence! han? It is 100% here " Kavitha mam almost roared at me. "How can it be 100%?" I asked with my mouth half open in amazement. They refused any further queries and Kavitha mam ordered,"From tomorrow, come in formals, (Pointing at my jeans) no jeans and T-shirt."  This was just too much for me to swallow, as I looked at her in disdain. Other professors laughed and enjoyed my tussle with the most dominating figure of their institute.
Now, we had to submit fees in an SBI branch "Pattukotai". We took an auto, driver barely understood where we wanted to go. We showed him the address but he couldn't read. We didn't even get the pronunciation right, so he understood whatever he wanted to. We left it all on him. As expected, he screwd up. He took us near some private school which spelled near to where we had to go.Some strangers helped us to get to the branch. By then, the driver was pissed and wanted to get rid of us aliens.

As we entered the branch. My heart started pounding, the thought of staying there for the next 4 years came haunting me again. Mother always knows how uncomfortable you are, no matter how well you hide it. She asked,"Reh lega na yahan tu?". I gave her an unsure and faint look. The smile dropped, marks of stress started appearing on my forehead. I took deep breaths to calm myself down, but were of no help. "This alien city, I don't even know their language, how'd I survive. Parents would be 3,000 KMs from me, whom would I turn up to in troubles." Thinking about all this, I found myself crying. I hadn't cried in the last 2-3 years but this was worth crying for. I got my courage up and told her to submit the fees. I almost forced her to do it. She cried as I stopped crying, she knew the time had come.

We made our way back to the campus. Was there a last twist in the tale? You'll soon find out. Mom found a fair guy sitting in the canteen, he looked much like us. His eyes too caught us, he came upto us."Hello, aap log itni dur se, yahan? admission ke lie? Kyun?". He had a lot of questions, we wondered why. He also turned out to be Himachali, introduced to us as 'Rakesh' from Una district. Dad and he started talking in 'Pahari' :P, his pahari was perfect. The south hadn't changed him a bit. He was an M.tech student there. He was not convinced with the decision of admission there. Although, he spoke highly of faculty and facilities there, he wasn't too pleased with the administration and local city conditions. He regarded Jaypee and CS as a better option. My head started to burst by then, I didn't want two mindedness any more. A Phd scholor from Guwahati, came to our help as he joined the conversation while it rained outside. He looked more sure, logical and philosophical. This "Deepansh-career choice" had become a huge issue, as another north Indian 'Shailesh' approached us, he hailed from Delhi. He worked as a scientist, who came for his 6 months project. He was expressive, aggressive and frank, much like me. He had nothing but hate for south. It was his last day in south, he had a bus to Trichy in few hours. Last day in south and he spoke everything he could ,"Ladkiyon se bat karo to inko problem", "Rough notebook, Fair Notebook", "No theatre, No sports", "Kamm kro or padho bas","Terko dekh ke bol raha hun, 2 mahine mai bhaagg lega tu yaha se". He was right, I'd do that. I can't stand mundane life, although I am living one right now but still that was too far from my capabilities of bearing. Out of nowhere these North Indians appeared and changed the whole game. I had now given up, I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.
We decided to move to Banglore first, and then decide what to do. We were hungry, entered a south Indian restaurant "Annamalai" near old bus stand. The food was delicious or maybe our hunger made it. We left 50 rupees as 'tip'. South Indians don't tip too much, the waiter was joyous and bowed 2-3 times as we made our way out.
Returning to Bangalore, everyone had their thinking caps on. Everyone had their own set of opinions which changed every single hour. I had enough, I wanted no degree, nothing. I wanted to sleep and not think. I knew I was not ready for such a drastic change, somewhere parents too knew it. We decided to cancel the admission. It was hard, but that was it. I wasn't to be, South and I never got along.

Part 5: Sorry due to my end semester exams, I have not been able to write and post it. It's coming!

A Journey to South: Part 3

Part 3: 'WOMEN IN MY LIFE'

Read : Part 1 | Part 2 

It was a 7-8 hour long journey from Bangalore to Thanjavur, Tamil Nadu. We had berth no. 44,45,46 booked. In the same compartment, we had a South Indian couple sitting who looked like in their mid- 50's, they had adjusted the luggage and were already settled as we came. North Indian Family travelling to Trichy in train is quite a rare sight. All stared at us as we adjusted luggage and spoke to each other in 'Hindi'. They didn't seem to get anything.

Women have a necessary desire to communicate and talk. Mom got all her courage up and enquired the South Indian couple about the city they were going to. Most South Indians are serious people and mean only business. You don't see South Indians chatting, or wasting time. They talk less, and wear simple. The lady replied "We are going for a Family Puja! in Thanjavur" and smiled. She had the most welcoming face that I saw after coming to South. However, her husband looked serious and demure. But, we managed to get him talking too. He worked as "Chief of Security Gaurds", no wonder he looked like that. His wife was the most expressive women I saw in South. She didn't know English. Her eyes glittered, despite of a huge language barrier, she knew what we were saying. As I joined the conversation, the conversation stirred. I talk a lot when I do. The security uncle would smile every now and then. Maybe, he never saw someone talk so much. He'd translate everything to his wife who laughed and laughed. My parents looked at me to stop as I talk real frank and blunt.

They told us a lot about 'Thanjavur'. Thanjavur has some old and magnificent temples 'Brihadeeswrar Temple' is the most prominent, a Lord Shiva's Temple. We told them about the college and counselling in 'IICPT'. Earlier, it was 'Paddy Research Center' set up in 1967. They offered us some home made dishes and "Macchi ka acchar". Fish is to South Indians, what butter chicken is to Punjabis. We slept till dawn, woke up and got ready as destination approached. Then, something unusual happened. Dad was not behaving normally, I knew he was onto something. Something was bothering him. He finally broke the 'ice', he asked 'the couple' if they had any kid or not. "Oh, psychic mode is on"I told myself. They had no kids after 25 years of marriage. They were going to a Puja! at their home for a child. Yes! I could relate two things. He offered a free Astrological remedy to them and they gladly accepted. Both wrote it down on a paper. Dad is an astrologer, he loves it but doesn't want any money out of it. Their eyes were teary and hopeful, as they thanked Dad. When we finally reached, I touched their feet and they left me with lot of blessings and love. Her eyes still glittered as she bid me farewell, she smiled at me as if she knew me completely. Women have always understood me better than any man can ever do. They are the balancing force in my life. I want to thank my mother, sisters and every female friend that I have had fortune to meet. I owe my life to you all!. My whole life, I've been surrounded by women. They have literally nourished me along. Some people misinterpret your association with women, luck with women doesn't mean luck in your affections.Yes, I have been unlucky in my affections.


Thanjavur, now this was seriously south-south. We three stood at the Station Junction. I asked mom,"2 din mai ham kahan se kahan pahunch gaye? this looks like another country." She smiled at me as we found dad had vanished, you all know for what. The station itself looked like a temple, with big pillars and paintings of God. This city indeed looked historical and religious. It was only 6 in the morning as we got out of station. The counselling was at 10 AM, so we had time. A women flower-seller stood outside the station. Mom had her eyes fixed on jasmine. She wanted a touch of South Indian on her hair. She was not happy with the price, bargaining - a special super power that only Indian women posses and even the barrier of language can't stop them. Hand gesturing and in few Yes's and No's, mom had it her way as me and dad saw the funny side of things. These are the only times when we enjoy each other's company while otherwise it is quite awkward between us.

We got ourselves onto a bus. It was full of south Indians who gave us unfamiliar stares, as we were the only odd ones there. I knew this was real south, people with tilak on, conductor who didn't want an extra rupee, as father tried to persuade him to keep the change, but failed miserably. The songs irritated me, I felt I was dragged back in time to the 20th century, there was not even a sign of westernization. The same old clothes, culture, buses as if nothing had changed there for years.

Read : Part 4

A Journey to South : Part 2

Read Part 1: Click Here

Part 2:  'JOURNEY AND FUN'

We three newbie were on and ready to go. The cabin crew have a tough job, must say. No doubt they are paid well. They do everything, from enacting safety guidelines through hand gestures to carrying food every now and then, collecting unwashed plates to calling out for passengers at airport. Not quite fancy as I thought. Bus Conductors of HRTC have more privileged life than that. I had allowed  mom to sit on the window seat, I saw she was curious and happy, I didn't want to ruin it. Initial excitement had settled, as plane soared high up.But, my mum still hadn't gotten over the beautiful clouds and scenes from high up. Dad got magazines to read. Noticing people is the best thing even in the air. Some slept, some busy with laptops, some were busy annoying the air hostesses, but nobody moved, stuck to their seats. This air journey didn't turn out as exciting as I thought. The only point of excitement was "I was in air". :P.

 I had to do something. I gained all my courage to push the 'call light'. I didn't know what I wanted, I just did it out of boredom. One of the flight attendant approached me, I still had nothing in my mind. She was the most beautiful out of them, tall and slim. "What would you like to have? Sir". I was dumbfound for few seconds, as I quickly recovered "uh Water! Can I have a glass of water".She smiled "Sure, Sir!". My parents stared at me like I had committed the most vicious crime in the world. We exchanged few uncomfortable smiles. My mom inquired "How did she come to us?". The good and bad things about Indian Parents, they want to know everything about everything. I pointed to the light above. She pressed it out of excitement, as I immediately pressed it off. "Not now. It's when you want something". Father joined in and they both started pressing and asking for food, drinks and virtually anything and there was no stopping them. They were enjoying it, leaving me embarrassed and hiding. In private airlines, they serve food at very high costs. The costs were so high that first time I had to ask "Water? Is it for free? :P" She smiled and nodded, "Yes". All the jokes about airplane journey turned out to be true. Indigo Pilots just don't shut the fuck up; They inform you about every single detail "We are above the 'pink city' Jaipur. We are at 10,000 feet travelling at such speeds and bla bla" enough to qualify them as RJs. Soon, the night feel. Mumbai was near. The pilot and co-pilot made announcement of landing and locking our saftey belts. I was excited "Mumbai! A Dream City!" , I have a personal affection for the busy and fast cities. I kept peeking out to get a glimpse of Mumbai. Millions of glittering lights dazzled my eyes. I don't remember calling a city more beautiful than Bilaspur, but Mumbai came close. We landed at about 8 PM. Everyone ignored "Yatri apni sthan par bane rahe" and got out in haste. The "Chhatrapati Shivaji International Airport" looked bewitching, although I had not seen many to even compare.
The next flight to Bangalore was at 3 AM. More than 6 hours in Mumbai, I was on cloud 9.For all I ever wanted in life, this was it, but the downside was we had luggage with us. We enquired a local about the nearest place we'd go. "Juhu was near" he said. I was jumping 'up and down' elated in joy. The sea, the beach waited me. Mumbai is more lively than any city in India. The autovala proudly proclaimed "Bumbai Sota nahi hai bhaiya". He showed me all the big star's house pointing his finger out of auto "Ye Amitabh Ji ka" Ye "Nana ka hai" " ye Anupam Kher ka". I was surprised how he was not starstruck and I was. The next thing I remember was lying on that serene beach with perennial wind blowing on my face. Dad vanished for a smoke, must have been a new experience for him, 'Smoking on Beach'. Mom's eyes were on the food stalls and trying the Bombay cuisine. Ice creams were delicious there, Vada Pav and Bhell added to the relish. We bumped into a couple who came for a late night walk. The guy was a stuntsman in "Film City". My ear went up as I enquired him about the city. I still remember his parting words "Bhaiya! Bombay kisi ko bhukkha nahi sone deta". Strangers always make the journey more eventful and exciting.
I wanted to stay there forever but we had to move back to airport at about 12. We spent time checking all the shops, every part of airport. Securities were tight with the Independence Day approaching. I wanted to call up my bestie "Ishan" who stays in Chandigarh. I knew he'd be startled as I'd catch him off guard, "Kahan hai be?" He asked. I responded "Mumbai". His pitch went up "Kahan pahunch gya hai be tu?". We chatted for about 2-5 minutes as I went out of balance. He never keeps balance, so I knew he'd not call back. We boarded our next flight to Bangalore, by this time we were acting pro. The good thing about Air India, they give "free food". A short flight of 45 minutes and free food, what more you can ask for?. I hadn't finished eating, and we were already landing.  Banglore looked much less crowded than Mumbai from up there. All the fuzz about landing and take off is all false, you don't even realise it as I ate rest while landing. The second South Indian I ever met in life after my school principal was "Airport Cab Driver". The funny thing about South Indians is not that they can't speak Hindi, you don't get their English too with pronunciation all over the place. M is 'Em' , A is "Aey" N is "En" for them. Even with English, you feel handicapped there. Atul Mamu's house was 2-3 hour drive from airport. I fell asleep as the sleepless journey had taken the toll on me. "Ranka Apartment, M.G Road" was hard to find, it took 3-4 wrong turns untill driver finally located it. My two cousins "Vasu(12) and Bhumik (9)" were exited to see us or maybe some North Indian faces. Oh damn, they missed North so much. The most amazing thing about Banglore is its weather, the temperature there always remains between 20-28.
The train to Thanjavur, "Mayiladuthurai Express" was at 7.30 PM. South Indian names can drive you crazy, this was only first of the lot. My cousins taught me "Kannada gotila. Hindi No Madi." It means "I don't know Kannada, I know Hindi." 2 years in south had turned them into South Indians, or maybe children learn fast. Vasu's accent had changed while Bhumik hated South, he wanted to go back to North. 'Mayiladuthurai Express' Bangalore-Trichy arrived little late. A train mainly for pilgrimage, Thanjavur was much more than I thought, a temple city and a rice bowl. It has some of the oldest temples in India. Train journey pleases you more than any other journey, ask me, who recently had the taste of Air.

Read : Part 3 | Part 4

A Journey to South

Part 1: 'THE PHONE CALL'

Read : Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

It was somewhere around July 25, 2014. I had got admission in B.Tech at JUIT, not Satisfied, but relieved that finally I'd got into a college after a weary and ho-hum period of counselling and entrances. I was drained and sinking, my whole life seemed to have stopped. 3 months of nothing but drama and events that you don't want in your life. You have nowhere to go but wait till your parents pack your bags and send you away. Nothing can get more horrifying than this. Yes, I am dramatizing things a bit but yeah it was a hard period.

I remember doing all the packing the night before. The next morning, my whole family - my mom, dad, sister and I started on our way to JUIT. As usual we were late, that's like our family tradition. In our journey from Bilaspur to Wakhnaghat, I was thinking a lot, about my days in Bilaspur, how 14 years of school life flew and passed unnoticed. It was a mental drill to get ready for things to come. Suddenly, dad stopped the car and when inquired, he wanted some repairs in car much to our disgust as we were already late. I got some more time to spend with my mom. Oh yes, I am a mama's boy. I don't remember any moment when she's not got emotional while talking to me. But there are always two sides to a woman, one is an emotional weak side and other is brave as a lion. The way she has handled two maniacs like me and my father is truly an act of bravery. We three sat on somewhere on side of road with freezing cold water flowing all along it. As I was enjoying the frosty water with my feet immersed in, I received a call. It was a long number, an STD code followed by landline number.  'Hi' A mellow voice was on phone, informed "Deepansh Gupta. You have been selected in IICPT, Thanjavur under B.tech Food Processing&Technology programme". I had mixed emotions, I had taken the decision to go to JUIT, after a lot of cogitation and dubiety. Finally, when I decided and on my way there, I get another thing to mull upon. As soon as, I told my parents about it, they were brimming with happiness and excitement. Now, they had already manifested my career and my Job. Why were they so excited? My father never wanted me to go to JUIT and this young prospect of IICPT was beguiling. My mother usually gets excited at everything, So this wasn't something new. From JUIT, Hostel to B.tech, every topic shifted to South India. Father kept on lauding the South Indians for knowledge and discipline. Infact, It is true but my situation was miserable. I was again caught in b/w a situation. But, like any other middle class family, they didn't risk it and kept following path to Wakhna leaving me in a thought.' I cursed that call, why it had to come now only.' I was livid with them and cursed every filthy shit I knew on them' on the other hand I was genuinely thinking too.

The counselling for IICPT was scheduled on 4th August, 2014. I left that thought as soon as I entered JUIT and hostel. I was busy adjusting to new surroundings and attending Orientation Programme which went on for 3 days followed by 4 holidays. Knowing my parents, I knew they'd be pondering over the thought of IICPT. They called me. My mom said " Beta, counselling to attend kar lete hain". " nahi pasand aya to vapis aa jayenge". I agreed. There were two reasons for my agreement. First, whatever I saw in JUIT, I was not happy with it. Second, I was also seeing an actual prospect in "IICPT" "a government college" "Indian Institute" "South India" all hovered in my mind. I got up early next morning to make my way to Chandigarh Airport. We all barring my sister ( doing B.tech in Shimla ) decided to meet at the airport. I reached airport before them. For a small townee, airport is a 'big' thing. It was burning and humid in Chandigarh, I sat on the benches outside for few moments untill I was forced by my natural instinct to get up and walk around and do some crazy stuff. I  checked out all the hot girls there. I abused every single Businessman and Tycoons there calling ' Salle! Smjhte kya hai apne aap ko' as they came in their SUVs, drivers carrying luggage. I was enjoying it. After 2 hours of wait and fun, they came. I looked at them, two diminutive figures approaching me, carrying big bags. Once you get into college, seeing your parents is always a pretty sight. My eyes glittered with happiness, I got a bit emotional but hid it well. I hugged them and we planned our travel to Banglore where my Maternal Uncle lived. He works at Indian Oil Corporation Ltd.. We had to pay huge sum for tickets as we had no booking. We got connecting flights as it fitted budget, Chandigarh-Mumbai ( Indigo )  and Mumbai-Banglore ( AIR India ). For first timers on airport, we did quite well and didn't get into any sort of trouble.Interestingly, my father has a habit of vanishing from the scene when the final moments come, curse his smoking. He managed to do this again, I was livid, mom too. The good thing is he always appears just in time, much to our relief. We got onto our flight. Every child from middle class dreams of travelling in an airplane. I'd say somewhere I thought of it too but dreams are much more exciting than reality. I was not the only first timer there, they both too were. Thank god!, we dressed better than we usually do while travelling.

Read : Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4