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टुकड़ों मैं बटा-सा यह देश तो देखो, जिसे कोई न बदल पाया वास्तविकता में |

चाहता न था कोई इसे एक बनाना, 
डर गये थे वे इसके प्रभुत्व से,
बन जाता अगर यह देश, कहलाता महाशक्ति इस विशव में |

मज़हब ने तोडा, अंग्रेजों ने बांटा,
समझ न पाया कोई गैरों की चाल | 
गिर गया हिंदुस्तां का ध्वज, बन गया श्वेतों का दास,
चाहते थे वे हमें सभ्य बनाना, जाना न था हमारा इतिहास |
गैर चले गए, फिर अपनों ने लुटा, छोड़ा न जिसे अपनों ने, उसे कैसे छोड़ते वे गैर | 
सोने की मुर्गी थी जो लगी हाथ, यह अपने आज भी लुट रहे, पर न कभी डाले इस देश ने हथियार |
चलती रही समझकर इनको अपना,
पर सब्र का बांध एक दिन तो टूटेगा, माँ लगाएगी अपनों को फटकार, 
मत लो इसका इम्तेहान, यह प्रेम करने वाली माँ है देखो, समर्पित होकर करो इसे नमन, इस माँ ने हैं सहे कई जुर्म |
अगर होते न इसके भाग , न होता मज़हब, धर्म, जात |
टुकड़ों मैं बटा-सा यह देश तो देखो, जिसे कोई न बदल पाया वास्तविकता में |

A Journey to South: Part 4

Part 4: 'THE DILEMMA'

Read : Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

It appeared as if the soil, the air, the sun, the heat, everything was different. Wherever you saw, nothing but paddy fields stretched across the lands. No wonder it is called 'Rice Bowl' of Tamil Nadu. It was route no. '767' , beautiful small temples graced our way to 'IICPT'. At the entry, guard knew 'Hindi', I can not tell you how happy I was. The first word I uttered in front of him was "Hindi!!!!!" :D , more out of relief than surprise. He was from Uttar Pradesh. He knew I came for counselling, he guided us to the reception. We relaxed there for a while, and then took a stroll around the campus. It was not a big campus, only a few acres, a small playground on which it looked nobody had ever set his foot. I knew where I had come, a 'premier institute' where you do nothing but 'study'. Campus was beautiful and had all the hi-tech labs. They both looked quite convinced and happy, I was still anxious and unsure.

We met few students, most of them were local or from south, Kerela or Tamil Nadu. They looked quite happy, or maybe they had accepted their fate. Northerns were still no where to be found. Soon the counselling started. They took us to a room where queries and doubts were cleared. This is where I felt uneasy and vexed. My feet and hands felt cold and sweaty, I was panicking, I knew it was going to be tough but the thought of staying so far south was frightful and intimidating.
The next thing I know was sitting in the conference hall waiting for my turn. 6 faculty members sat in front, checking all the documents and verifying every detail. Some problem had to upheaval, I didn't have copies of all the certificates, this is so me. But, this time mom and dad were at fault, as they had all the documents. The apprehension of staying in south plus this problem added to my fury and it all came out on parents. My name was called out, I went up to the faculty team wished them with a fake broad smile. Mom and dad knew I was pissed as they sat along with me. "How do you feel here, Deepansh?" Kavitha Mam asked. When I am pissed, I reply promptly and bluntly. "Good" I said to which one of the faculty member laughed, this 'Good' was real quick and so fake that even child could tell I was pissed. Kavitha mam is an Associate Professor at the institute, She looked quite dominating and authoritative. She introduced me to all the faculty members. On her left was Nandini Mam an Assistant Professor, the most beautiful lady I had seen in past few days, beautiful and serene face which showed not much emotions. Her face made me forget my worries for a moment. Sometimes pretty faces can help. On her right was Indira mam, senior most in the clerical staff, a north Indian and expressive. So, this was a female dominated staff.

Before this, they were very serious and strict with every student they came across. But, they knew I was different, a bubble of energy waiting to burst out.  I told them about my situation, about JUIT. I never spoke better in my life. Sometimes, worst situations can bring out the best in you. Mom and dad waited me to shut up, till they spoke of their doubts and apprehensions. I was enjoying this conversation. It was difficult to stop me. Professors kept smiling and laughing, parents too had given up. :P Before me, there was no hint of smile on their face. One achievement for sure, I made south Indians laugh and smile a lot more than they usually do.
"Deepansh, You have got the admission. Forget about your private college, those things don't work here". I was handed over the admission letter by Kavitha Mam. We had to submit fees in the branch 3-4 KM from college." As we and faculty talked about how was I going to adjust in the new surroundings, mom broke down. I was expecting this. For her, it was more harder than it was for me. She quickly recovered, and smiled to show me a brave face. "Boy, you have got a lot of energy. You need to channelize it" Nandini mam told me. I still could not get over how beautiful she was. I asked them about minimum attendence. I thought it was quite a valid question. But, they all looked at each other as if I had said something which seemed abnormal. "What attendence! han? It is 100% here " Kavitha mam almost roared at me. "How can it be 100%?" I asked with my mouth half open in amazement. They refused any further queries and Kavitha mam ordered,"From tomorrow, come in formals, (Pointing at my jeans) no jeans and T-shirt."  This was just too much for me to swallow, as I looked at her in disdain. Other professors laughed and enjoyed my tussle with the most dominating figure of their institute.
Now, we had to submit fees in an SBI branch "Pattukotai". We took an auto, driver barely understood where we wanted to go. We showed him the address but he couldn't read. We didn't even get the pronunciation right, so he understood whatever he wanted to. We left it all on him. As expected, he screwd up. He took us near some private school which spelled near to where we had to go.Some strangers helped us to get to the branch. By then, the driver was pissed and wanted to get rid of us aliens.

As we entered the branch. My heart started pounding, the thought of staying there for the next 4 years came haunting me again. Mother always knows how uncomfortable you are, no matter how well you hide it. She asked,"Reh lega na yahan tu?". I gave her an unsure and faint look. The smile dropped, marks of stress started appearing on my forehead. I took deep breaths to calm myself down, but were of no help. "This alien city, I don't even know their language, how'd I survive. Parents would be 3,000 KMs from me, whom would I turn up to in troubles." Thinking about all this, I found myself crying. I hadn't cried in the last 2-3 years but this was worth crying for. I got my courage up and told her to submit the fees. I almost forced her to do it. She cried as I stopped crying, she knew the time had come.

We made our way back to the campus. Was there a last twist in the tale? You'll soon find out. Mom found a fair guy sitting in the canteen, he looked much like us. His eyes too caught us, he came upto us."Hello, aap log itni dur se, yahan? admission ke lie? Kyun?". He had a lot of questions, we wondered why. He also turned out to be Himachali, introduced to us as 'Rakesh' from Una district. Dad and he started talking in 'Pahari' :P, his pahari was perfect. The south hadn't changed him a bit. He was an M.tech student there. He was not convinced with the decision of admission there. Although, he spoke highly of faculty and facilities there, he wasn't too pleased with the administration and local city conditions. He regarded Jaypee and CS as a better option. My head started to burst by then, I didn't want two mindedness any more. A Phd scholor from Guwahati, came to our help as he joined the conversation while it rained outside. He looked more sure, logical and philosophical. This "Deepansh-career choice" had become a huge issue, as another north Indian 'Shailesh' approached us, he hailed from Delhi. He worked as a scientist, who came for his 6 months project. He was expressive, aggressive and frank, much like me. He had nothing but hate for south. It was his last day in south, he had a bus to Trichy in few hours. Last day in south and he spoke everything he could ,"Ladkiyon se bat karo to inko problem", "Rough notebook, Fair Notebook", "No theatre, No sports", "Kamm kro or padho bas","Terko dekh ke bol raha hun, 2 mahine mai bhaagg lega tu yaha se". He was right, I'd do that. I can't stand mundane life, although I am living one right now but still that was too far from my capabilities of bearing. Out of nowhere these North Indians appeared and changed the whole game. I had now given up, I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.
We decided to move to Banglore first, and then decide what to do. We were hungry, entered a south Indian restaurant "Annamalai" near old bus stand. The food was delicious or maybe our hunger made it. We left 50 rupees as 'tip'. South Indians don't tip too much, the waiter was joyous and bowed 2-3 times as we made our way out.
Returning to Bangalore, everyone had their thinking caps on. Everyone had their own set of opinions which changed every single hour. I had enough, I wanted no degree, nothing. I wanted to sleep and not think. I knew I was not ready for such a drastic change, somewhere parents too knew it. We decided to cancel the admission. It was hard, but that was it. I wasn't to be, South and I never got along.

Part 5: Sorry due to my end semester exams, I have not been able to write and post it. It's coming!

A Journey to South: Part 3

Part 3: 'WOMEN IN MY LIFE'

Read : Part 1 | Part 2 

It was a 7-8 hour long journey from Bangalore to Thanjavur, Tamil Nadu. We had berth no. 44,45,46 booked. In the same compartment, we had a South Indian couple sitting who looked like in their mid- 50's, they had adjusted the luggage and were already settled as we came. North Indian Family travelling to Trichy in train is quite a rare sight. All stared at us as we adjusted luggage and spoke to each other in 'Hindi'. They didn't seem to get anything.

Women have a necessary desire to communicate and talk. Mom got all her courage up and enquired the South Indian couple about the city they were going to. Most South Indians are serious people and mean only business. You don't see South Indians chatting, or wasting time. They talk less, and wear simple. The lady replied "We are going for a Family Puja! in Thanjavur" and smiled. She had the most welcoming face that I saw after coming to South. However, her husband looked serious and demure. But, we managed to get him talking too. He worked as "Chief of Security Gaurds", no wonder he looked like that. His wife was the most expressive women I saw in South. She didn't know English. Her eyes glittered, despite of a huge language barrier, she knew what we were saying. As I joined the conversation, the conversation stirred. I talk a lot when I do. The security uncle would smile every now and then. Maybe, he never saw someone talk so much. He'd translate everything to his wife who laughed and laughed. My parents looked at me to stop as I talk real frank and blunt.

They told us a lot about 'Thanjavur'. Thanjavur has some old and magnificent temples 'Brihadeeswrar Temple' is the most prominent, a Lord Shiva's Temple. We told them about the college and counselling in 'IICPT'. Earlier, it was 'Paddy Research Center' set up in 1967. They offered us some home made dishes and "Macchi ka acchar". Fish is to South Indians, what butter chicken is to Punjabis. We slept till dawn, woke up and got ready as destination approached. Then, something unusual happened. Dad was not behaving normally, I knew he was onto something. Something was bothering him. He finally broke the 'ice', he asked 'the couple' if they had any kid or not. "Oh, psychic mode is on"I told myself. They had no kids after 25 years of marriage. They were going to a Puja! at their home for a child. Yes! I could relate two things. He offered a free Astrological remedy to them and they gladly accepted. Both wrote it down on a paper. Dad is an astrologer, he loves it but doesn't want any money out of it. Their eyes were teary and hopeful, as they thanked Dad. When we finally reached, I touched their feet and they left me with lot of blessings and love. Her eyes still glittered as she bid me farewell, she smiled at me as if she knew me completely. Women have always understood me better than any man can ever do. They are the balancing force in my life. I want to thank my mother, sisters and every female friend that I have had fortune to meet. I owe my life to you all!. My whole life, I've been surrounded by women. They have literally nourished me along. Some people misinterpret your association with women, luck with women doesn't mean luck in your affections.Yes, I have been unlucky in my affections.


Thanjavur, now this was seriously south-south. We three stood at the Station Junction. I asked mom,"2 din mai ham kahan se kahan pahunch gaye? this looks like another country." She smiled at me as we found dad had vanished, you all know for what. The station itself looked like a temple, with big pillars and paintings of God. This city indeed looked historical and religious. It was only 6 in the morning as we got out of station. The counselling was at 10 AM, so we had time. A women flower-seller stood outside the station. Mom had her eyes fixed on jasmine. She wanted a touch of South Indian on her hair. She was not happy with the price, bargaining - a special super power that only Indian women posses and even the barrier of language can't stop them. Hand gesturing and in few Yes's and No's, mom had it her way as me and dad saw the funny side of things. These are the only times when we enjoy each other's company while otherwise it is quite awkward between us.

We got ourselves onto a bus. It was full of south Indians who gave us unfamiliar stares, as we were the only odd ones there. I knew this was real south, people with tilak on, conductor who didn't want an extra rupee, as father tried to persuade him to keep the change, but failed miserably. The songs irritated me, I felt I was dragged back in time to the 20th century, there was not even a sign of westernization. The same old clothes, culture, buses as if nothing had changed there for years.

Read : Part 4